1. Does your house have any of these problems?

Snoring that vibrates the walls or your bed? (1 point)
Pets that can tell you what they want you to do? Like open the door, feed them or take them on walks. Who has who trained? (2 points)
Do you have two or more clocks that need to be reset everytime there is a power outage. /OR Showers that change water temperature to extreme hot or cold without warning.(3 points)
Check here if you have teenagers living in the house. (Oh, to be only half as wonderful as my child thought I was when he was small, and half as stupid as my teenager now thinks I am. 4 points)

2. What Best Describes you?

The sooner I fall behind, the more time I will have catching up. /or/ I like work, I could sit and watch it all day! (1 point)
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to someone else.. /or/ I've learned that whatever hits the fan will not be evenly distributed!.(2 points)
If 2 wrongs don't make a right, try 3 /or/ I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think..(3 points)
I have been on so many guilt trips, I now have bonus miles. (4 points)

3. What best describes your sports and/or activity time...

You go from your air conditioned home, to your air conditioned car, and then go to the gym to work up a sweat? (1 point)
You keep walking all over the house looking for your TV remote, portable phone or keys.. (2 points)
You smile when you hear that every 7 minutes of everyday someone in aerobics class pulls a hamstring.. /or/ For a real quick energy boost, nothing beats having the boss walk in. (3 points)
Do you yell, wear team colors, give high fives and spill beer or food to show your enthusiasm for a team that hasn't seen 1st place in over 5 years? (4 points)

4. You know that irony plays a big part in your life because..

You wash the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher. /Or/ You iron your permanent press shirts..(1 point)
Experience is something you didn't get until just after you needed it. /Or/ Experience: a comb life gives you after you lose your hair.(2 points)
You used to think you were indecisive, but now you're not sure./Or/ You find that there's no sense in being pessimistic, because it probably wouldn't work anyway. (3 points)
You never get in the 'line' that is moving. /Or/ The people that get in line behind you jump to the line that just opened up and leave the store while you are still waiting. (4 points)

5. When driving on an extended trip..

Are you finding it harder, while driving, to ignore the glares you get from drivers passing you, while you are talking on your cell phone? /or/.. Are you 'gesturing' more and more at drivers who use cell phones while driving?' (1 point)
You get cut off by someone trying to pass you on the right or stuck in traffic till you scream, but you never see a police officer when you need them. (2 points)
I love to drive! Except for the traffic, road conditions, crowds, getting passed or having to slow down.. Get out of my way, people! (3 points)
In construction, do you get out of the lane that is ending to wait your turn in getting through. However, you then get passed, from that same ending lane, by 100 other drivers who don't seem to care that their 'Construction Zone Ditching' is making you late. (4 points)

6. What best describes your home life?

My family should take my advice. Afterall, I'm not using it! /or/ Cleaning the house while your kids are at home is like trying to shovel the driveway during a snowstorm. (1 point)
So this isn't Home Sweet Home.. Adjust! /or/ There are two theories to arguing with women.. Neither one works. (2 points)
Sometimes I wake up grumpy. Other times I let him sleep. /Or/ I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her name was, Always. (3 points)
You believe that your house is booby trapped because things keep falling on you when you open doors. (4 points)

7. My Life's Motto could be:

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.(1 point)
Marriage changes passion.. suddenly you're in bed with a relative. /or/ I married my spouse for his/her looks...but not the ones I've been getting lately! (2 points)
God must love stupid people, he made so many. /Or/ I won't have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent. (3 points)
I owe, I owe, it's off to work I go. (4 points)

8. Cell phones drive me crazy when:

I am eating in a restaurant or I am in an important conversation and have to try to block out the person talking loudly on the cell phone near by..(1 point)
I am afraid to answer the call because it may be a solicitor.. /or/ I finally need to use my cell phone and I forgot to bring it with me..(2 points)
I can't stop answering the phone, even when I don't want to talk to anyone.. (3 points)
I see some idiot driving a car while talking on the phone, smoking a cigarette, and making a turn. or/ select here if this idiot could be you. (4 points)

Your Quiz Score is Okay, the program is lousy at math.. If you know why, you can help me regain some of my sanity, and tell me how to fix it. ( kiwanis@att.net )
Reload page to retake test.. and welcome to the club!