1. (finish sentence) I don't care...

that I can't 'see' where the golf ball went... I just want to 'remember' where it went. (1 point)
what they told you about people my age!.. I have sex almost every night.. almost Monday, almost Tuesday, almost Wednesday.. etc..(2 points)
that my hair stopped growing on my head.. I just wish it would stop growing in my nose and ears..(3 points)

2. (finish sentence) Ask anyone my age and they will tell you...

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. (1 point)
Forget the health food. We need all the preservatives we can get. (2 points)
Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.(3 points)

3. What I learned from raising kids..

There are three ways to get something done: Do it yourself, hire someone to do it, or forbid your children to do it. (1 point)
Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-O to a tree.. (2 points)
If you can remain calm, you just don't have all the facts. (3 points)

4. (finish sentence) You know your getting older when..

People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.(1 point)
You stoop to tie your shoes and wonder what else you can do while you're down there(2 points)
You have a party and the neighbors didn't even realize it. /or/ You can live without sex but not without glasses.. (3 points)

5. Exercise has a new meaning..

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me (1 point)
My doctor was right.. Jogging can add years to your life. I feel 10 years older already.(2 points)
They say the best exercise takes place in the bedroom. I believe it, because that is where I get the most resistance. (3 points)

6. My new life's motto:

What's the difference between apathy and ignorance?.. I don't know and I don't care. (1 point)
I want justice.. I want to live long enough to make my kids worry about me.. (2 points)
If I must choose between two evils, I will pick the one I've never tried before. (3 points)

7. I know Irony is part of my life because:

By the time you find greener pastures, you can't climb the fence! (1 point)
'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence? (2 points)
The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement. (3 points)

8. What I like about being older..

I can remember Coffee shops with tableside juke boxes, pea shooters, Howdy Doody, and the worst thing you could catch from the opposite sex was "cooties". (1 point)
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. (2 points)
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either. (3 points)

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